TANA GOERTZ
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TANA GOERTZ

Selling the Clothes Off My Body

Selling the Clothes off my Body was a great life lesson I gave to my children and a few of the neighborhood kids last year.  As a matter of fact they are still talking about it and I was just asked to share it again over Thanksgiving.
Selling has always been a passion of mine and I welcome any opportunity to sell ANYTHING TO ANYONE!  All my life I have been told that I could sell ice to eskimos, and I must say I’ve been blessed with the gift of selling.

The day started very early with my children selling stuff around the house we no longer wanted, AKA a garage sale. It was a neighborhood garage sale and my kids begged me not to donate our junk but to let them sell it to anyone who would give them a nickel for it.

I love garage sales and welcomed this brilliant idea knowing this was going to last probably an hour if I was lucky. Being one not to kill or crush dreams and enthusiasm I went along with the plan. Selfishly thinking this endeavor would spark my two little “Apprentices” entreprenuial spirit that I believe HAS to be in them, but I haven’t seen it appear yet.

I assured them I would be inside the house if they should need any help negogiating a price or making change for the big spender who gives them a $100.00 bill. Did I mention I am an extreme optimist?

As I watched from inside the house, drinking my coffee, I resisted the urge to go out and show them how to do it.  Clearly they needed help people were coming to their sale, but leaving empty handed! That’s a BIG NO-NO in my book.

I knew we had good stuff, actually better stuff than the neighbors (just kidding) well not really, they didn’t have an autographed BeDazzler like my kids did or a Fear Factor robe.  What seems to be the problem I pondered?

Till I hear the cry for help, “MOM”, Tori said.  “We can’t do this”, “this was a stupid idea Tori” Myles whines.  I pounce out the door to rescue them from the desparation and despair most people experience when they have no clue or business selling.  I undersand what they need, they need me.

When I asked what the problem was; they said no one wanted any of our stuff.  When I asked what they did to try to sell the stuff like create more traffic; they said nothing we just sat there. When I asked how they tried to create interest in our junk, they said they didn’t. When I asked why they let people leave without being a customer and making any money, they said cause the people didn’t want what we had to sell them.

That’s when I had to show them they were doing it all wrong.  Handling this task was going to be no big deal for me, but it was life changing to the four young minds I had to teach how to sell.

Let me assure you that this isn’t my usual way of selling, however, it was quite easy.  I have always enjoyed doing the opposite of what everyone else does and in my business of selling, I make no exceptions.

This technique isn’t for everyone, but it sure was fun for me.  I told my young that they needed to do three things to be successfull at selling any of our junk and to end up have any spending money at the end of the day. Those three things were;
1. become fascinating to the customers in order to sell them anything.
2. to do everything different than what the neighbors were doing.
3. to make the stuff we had to sell interesting to the public.

I bet them I could sell all the clothes off my body, within an hour, and to make it harder on my I allowed them to pick out the clothes I wore.  We bet a pool party for them and all of their friends if I lost, and I would have a clean, organized garage if I won.

So the pressure was on to sell a black bodysuit, a pair of red high heels, a LOVE door sign, and here’s the best article, an red thong bikini bottom.  I told the kids I could do this in one hour simply by creating enthusiam at my newly acquired garage sale.

I was out front and center greeting all my new customers, holding up a handmade sign to all cars passing by.  Are so called DEAD garage sale was soon booming with people in what seemed like a matter of minutes.   People were stopping by for the thrill of looking at a thong bikini lady who was having a good time managing a garage sale.  Neighbors I haven’t talked to in weeks seemed so chatty that day.  Yes everyone looked at me like I was crazy or drunk, but people were buying from me cause I made my garage sale fun.

The only problem was they weren’t buying the articles that I needed to sell in order to have children cleaning my garage for me later in the day.  I knew I needed to showcase the value of the four articles I needed to sell and carefully look for the right customer to attract to the fitting articles I needed to move.

I had a teacher approach my driveway and I told the kids in advance what product I was going to pitch her.  Of the four items I had to move I thought the LOVE sign was going to be the only product I could see any value for her.  The kids got to see me sell that LOVE sign like taking candy from a baby.  I told her that sign would be perfect for her classroom at Valentines Day and she bought it.

I saw in the distance, one of my old hairstylists at the neighbors garage sale and I prayed she would come my way.  I got ready to pitch the black bodysuit because she works at Aveda and their uniform is all black.  The only worry I had is she is VERY busty and I didn’t think her chest could fit in there, but hey for a $2.00 bucks it’s worth the try.  She came by and loved the thought and bought it right off my back.  I often ponder if she ever wondered why I had it on if I was selling it in the first place.

I had a random highschool girl approach me ask me if I had any prom gowns for sell, which I didn’t, but I asked the important question, “what color are you looking for”, and she replied RED.  I knew I needed to find, inside the house, a red dress that looked formal enough for the prom in order to sell the RED HEELS!  Bingo I emerged from the house with a dress that I wore when I recieved an award in Mary Kay Cosmetics for being the top saleswoman in my unit.  I now hoped she was my shoe size and it was close enough, the shoes were sold.

Only one article left on me with 15 min to go, and it happened to be the red thong bikini bottom. This article caused me the most embarrassment because it clearly didn’t fit like it did once upon a time on that Mexico trip.  A red bikini thong is a much smaller target group and I asked myself who is going to be that kind of person I need to attract to this article.  I thought of fitness models, or strippers, or sun tanning worshipers, but didn’t see any tan people or strippers come by the sale.

I decided to stand out in the street with the sign one more time to see what I could attract and a car full of men came over to the curb and got out.  My son said, “Mom are you ready to give up yet”?  I immediatley went to selling as they couldn’t believe their eyes, a woman wearing a red thong in the morning with 4 kids hanging around like this is common.  I asked them what they were looking for and sold them old AT&T cell phones, Tina Turner CD’s, they bought the BeDazzler, and one man asked me if I had any lingerie.  I thought he was joking cause of what I was wearing, but he was serious.  I showed him to pile of pj’s and he said no more like Bras and Underware, I told him all I had left was my favorite red thong as I pointed to the object that needed to sell immediatley.  I told him how comfortable it was and showed him how well it was made.  He told me he was a cross dresser and needed a red thong for a show that weekend and bought it right off my body.

I did it I won the bet!  It wasn’t easy but it was a lot of fun.  I had a lot of spectators that day giving me weird stares, dirty looks, and raising their eyebrows in judgement of me.

The majority of the world would have never done what I did that day because of fear.  I say the reward for being courageous and teaching your children to not care what the world thinks of you is the best gift you can give your children.

I passed this valuable nugget of wisdom on to the kids that day, and I would love to pass it on to you as well.  Never underestimate who is and who could be a potential customer and that enthusiasm is contagious.

Oh well I’m not for everyone and that’s OK with me as long as I’m liked by the fun-loving, not too serious, kid at heart, thong wearing men or women I’m good.

Get Fired Up for Life.
Tana

Tana
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